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ONLINE JOURNAL 2002 ~ THE DAWNING
Journal entries are listed in descending order ~ oldest entries are on the top.

09-11-02
"The world is still here. I'm still here. Both changed. Each a little more aware of the other."

I said that phrase just over a year ago, and so much has happened since. I have remained very silent on Azodnem.com. Partly, I think, because I've just been exceptionally busy with other more lucrative endeavors, but truthfully my silence has been self-imposed. Too much of me went up on these web pages. Too much of me became exposed and too accessible. Too much foolishness. Too much honesty (Is there such a thing?). Too much regret. Yet, here I am once more... sitting at my keyboard... typing away... taking off one more layer and exposing another part. I feel as if I should write something about "Today". It's everywhere. Every channel and every station is heart-breaking. Watching some of the reporters today is starting to piss me off royally. They're asking insanely stupid and unfeeling questions... even to the younger children. "How do you feel?", "What do you miss most about daddy?". Heartless!. How do you think they feel?

I had to turn off the televison.

I can't watch anymore of this. It's too much to see those families deal with so much pain and grief. The world has changed its face so quickly and so drastically... so terribly... joy and happiness have been stolen from so many good people this year. Watching and listening to their children dealing with the tragic and violent deaths of their fathers/mothers/parents/brothers/sisters is an awakening and heart-wrenching experience.

There is so much, too much hate in their young hearts...

Our perception of innocence died on 9-11 too. Where do you bury that?

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09-11-02
This is a somber dawning. I wanted to write about my hopes for the coming year... but as always... "Azodnem" draws out the truth in me. It pulls out the agony and joy together and leaves me to sort it out.

Let grief be remembered.

My thoughts and prayers
go out to the families and friends of all the victims
of last year's tragedy.

Let joy be forgiven.

I hope they can find the courage to rise up from their grief and move forward in their lives.

Let hope be reborn.

There are strangers
who pray for you.

Let hate fade away.

Your children are
in their thoughts.

Let love be a light.

You are not
alone in the darkness.

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